Chill out over global warming

You'll often hear the left lecture about the importance of dissent in a free society. Why not give it a whirl? Start by challenging global warming hysteria next time you're at a LoDo cocktail party and see what happens. Admittedly, I possess virtually no expertise in science. That puts me in exactly the same position as most dogmatic environmentalists who want to craft public policy around global warming fears. The only inconvenient truth about global warming, contendsColorado State University's Bill Gray, is that a genuine debate has never actually taken place. Hundreds of scientists, many of them prominent in the field, agree. Gray is perhaps the world's foremost hurricane expert. His Tropical Storm Forecast sets the standard. Yet, his criticism of the global warming "hoax" makes him an outcast. "They've been brainwashing us for 20 years," Gray says. "Starting with the nuclear winter and now with the global warming. This scare will also run its course. In 15-20 years, we'll look back and see what a hoax this was." Gray directs me to a 1975 Newsweek article that whipped up a different fear: a coming ice age. "Climatologists," reads the piece, "are pessimistic that political leaders will take any positive action to compensate for the climatic change. … The longer the planners delay, the more difficult will they find it to cope with climatic change once the results become grim reality."

(Note, I did not write, this, and can't get the article to copy over that has the author's name. I'll try and fix it later… Right now I'm tired….)

Return of the Muffins… (Proves that Americans are Retarded)

Updated: 4:38 p.m. ET May 27, 2006

DALLAS – Two students have been charged with giving a high school’s employees marijuana-spiked muffins in a senior prank that sent 18 people to the hospital and triggered an FBI and terrorism investigation.

 “I had no idea of the scope of my actions,” Ian Walker, 18, said Friday, a day after he and friend Joseph Tellini surrendered to police. They could receive 10 years in prison or more if convicted of felony charges.

Walker is accused of delivering adulterated bran muffins to the teachers lounge of Tellini’s suburban school May 16 and claiming they were part of an Eagle Scout project. When Lake Highlands High School employees ate the muffins, they began complaining of nausea, lightheadedness and headaches.

Most of those sickened were quickly treated and released, but Rita Greenfield, an 86-year-old receptionist, spent two days in the hospital.

 “They were just thinking it would be fun to get these teachers all silly and giggly,” Greenfield said. “I do not think of this as a prank at all. It has caused heartaches and hard feelings.”

 Terrorism task force called in

The FBI investigated because the case involved a contamination of the food supply at a school. A joint terrorism task force found that terrorism was not involved, but determined the muffins contained marijuana and turned up a surveillance video of the delivery.

Walker, an honors student at a nearby Catholic school, and Tellini, 18, were each charged with five felony counts of assault on a public servant, each of which carries penalties of two to 10 years in prison. Because of the presence of illegal drugs, Dallas County prosecutors are seeking an upgrade to the charges that could raise the maximum sentence to 20 years, district attorney spokeswoman Rachel Raya said.

The teens were released on $7,500 bail each. Calls to Tellini’s home and attorney were not immediately returned Friday. Walker and his family spoke Friday in an apology-filled news conference at his lawyer’s house.

“It was juvenile and stupid, and believe it or not, I thought I was only participating in a senior prank,” Walker said. He won’t be allowed to graduate with his class at Bishop Lynch High School because of the incident, his family said.

Ian Walker’s mother, Caroline, said she first heard about the tainted muffins while watching the news with her son.

“My first thought when I saw it, because I am a mom, was, ‘My heart goes out to the mother of that stupid kid,”’ she said.

© 2006 The Associated Press

To the Brave Soldier Who Saved My Life….. I Mean Score…

Played 4 games of Lazer Tag tonight. Usually 5 vs 5 games, once a 5 vs 6 game.

My Scores:

1st Game: 25. Highest score was 500. (you get 25 points PER HIT, and lose that much each time you get hit. So I got hit one less time than I hit someone else…) Lowest score that round was me.

2nd Game: 125. Some improvement, but the highest score was 525. Mastered the "grenade" feature. Used it every time I saw Andy. By hitting him first, I survived longer. The grenade allowed me to hit him without as much aim, meaning I survived long enough to run away.

3rd Game: 500. I stayed in one corner, and shot these flashy "base" thingys. Each hit was 25 points, and 50 if I waited for it to turn red. (I hit it at green for 25 points, because everyone ELSE waited for it to turn red… thus, more points for me)

At this point, I've learned a few things….

~Rob (Rob Aponte, Vincent's dad), is my bane. He has the best chance of hitting me, even if I shoot at him first. If I catch him off gaurd, I can score some extra points… (which is why I had a score of 25 the first round, and not a 0… because I shot him when he was busy shooting at someone else, or moving)

~Andy is dangerous. He has the highest percentage of showing up right as I duck into a corner, thus hitting me before I can even attempt to escape. Using grenades allow me to survive against Andy.

~The 2 girls (younger than everyone else there) haven't played much Lazer Tag. They follow you around, and shoot you the instant your gun recharges (and you can shoot again). Thus, they gain points, you lose points, and you can't fire back for the first 30 seconds after they get you. (guns rechargh about every 5 seconds….)

~The 2 little boys we played with once were worse than the girls. Smaller, with more energy. They would hit you, and disappear almost before you even noticed them. Thus, they scored very high the one round we played with them. (my 125 point round)

~Wearing 2 shirts (white t-shirt and a Hawaiian shirt) makes a big guy like me overheat. It doesn't help that I was already running around, a lot. So, instead of playing one game with an extra layer, I must remember to shed the nice shirt BEFORE we start playing. (or wear it like a headband, and be Bahama Osama, the Tropical Terrorist!)

~The younger of the 2 girls is officially cool, because she owns a pair of pink Crocs! (the yellow/red shoes I wear ALL TEH TIME)

Okay, on to the last game.

Rob and Andy are BOTH on my team. (changing the teams a little). Now I have not only Vincent to support me, but BOTH of the people who give me problems in the other games.

I move to my corner (the one that got me 500 points). Rob joins me. We get attacked, often. (5 on 6 game, at any given point, 4 of them were attacking the 2 of us in that corner, with the other 2 on their team not far off, meaning Rob and I were SWAMPED the ENTIRE game) One guy would jump in, and shoot at me, then Rob. Miss me, hit Rob. I hit him. Rob loses points, I gain points. I hit the flashy thingys over and over again. (more points) I go running off once, just to scatter the group around me. Shortly after, Rob evacuates (4 or 5 of them versus him, so he left) The two girls follow him, and they all find me, so now we have the "chase-and-shoot" girls on our tail. We retreat to our corner again, and start liting people up. (Lazer Tag slang for blasting the crap out of them) I shot people all the time, but unfourtuneately, not until they had most likely already shot Rob. Thus, the game finally ended. Rob had a score of 0. (maybe 25, I don't remember) The fact that Andy was on my team meant I had a higher score from getting hit less. The fact that Rob drew fire from me meant I got hit less. My score: 750. That's a 3000% point increase since my first game. Rob is the best meat shield I have ever played with, and I must invite him to ANY Lazer Tag event I get to go to, so we can team up and he can help me boost my score.

So here's to the Brave Soldier who saved my life…. I mean score….

Thanks Rob.

The Unavoidable Laws of the Universe

1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).

7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Oxymorons

Act naturally

Happily married

Microsoft Works

Holy war

Found missing

Resident alien

Minor Catastrophe

Affordable housing

Near miss

Great depression

Canadian army

Phone sex

United nations

Advanced BASIC

Genuine imitation

Death benefits

Airline Food

Women's rights

Good grief

Same difference

Almost exactly

Sensitive man

Government organization

Everything except

Civil War

Good kid

Sanitary landfill

Alone together

Legally drunk

Silent scream

British fashion

Living dead

Small crowd

Business ethics

Soft rock

Butt Head

Military Intelligence

Software documentation

New York culture

New classic

Sweet sorrow

Childproof

"Now, then"

Synthetic natural gas

Christian Scientists

Passive aggressive

Taped live

Clearly misunderstood

Peace force

Extinct Life

Temporary tax increase

New and improved

Computer jock

Plastic glasses

Terribly pleased

Computer security

Political science

Tight slacks

Definite maybe

Pretty ugly

Twelve-ounce pound cake

Diet ice cream

Rap music

Working vacation

Exact estimate

Religious tolerance

Freezer Burn

Honest Politician

Jumbo Shrimp

Loners Club

Postal Service

Just for fun….

I will now list EVERY Disney movie that DOES NOT have a sequel!

Seriously, have a contest with someone, and try and see who can name the most Disney movies without a sequel. Here is a list to baffel them with: (any Disney movie named that is not on this list either has a Sequel or isn't really a "Disney Movie")

Note: It also helps to not count some movies (Such as "The Shaggy Dog) because they are re-done. For all intents and purposes, treat movies "re-made" as "having a sequel". This makes things even harder! (so Disney's Robin Hood doesn't count, niether does Old Yeller)

• The Reluctant Dragon (1941)
• Saludos Amigos (1943)
• Victory Through Air Power (1943)
• Make Mine Music (1946)
• Song of the South (1946)
• Fun and Fancy Free (1947)
• Melody Time (1948)
• So Dear to My Heart (1949)
• The Sword and the Rose (1953)
• The Living Desert (1953)
• Rob Roy, the Highland Rogue (1954)
• The Vanishing Prairie (1954)
• 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954)
• The African Lion (1955)
• The Littlest Outlaw (1955)
• The Great Locomotive Chase (1956)
• Westward Ho, the Wagons (1956)
• Johnny Tremain (1957)
• Perri (1957)
• The Light in the Forest (1958)
• White Wilderness (1958)
• Tonka (1958)
• Sleeping Beauty (1959)
• Darby O'Gill and the Little People (1959)
• Third Man on the Mountain (1959)
• Pollyanna (1960)
• Toby Tyler (1960)
• Kidnapped (1960)
• Ten Who Dared (1960)
• Jungle Cat (1960)
• Nikki, Wild Dog of the North (1961)
• Babes in Toyland (1961)
• Greyfriars Bobby (1961)
• Bon Voyage! (1962)
• Big Red (1962)
• Almost Angels (1962)
• Moon Pilot (1962)
• The Legend of Lobo (1962)
• In Search of the Castaways (1962)
• Summer Magic (1963)
• Miracle of the White Stallions (1963)
• Savage Sam (1963)
• The Sword in the Stone (1963)
• Mary Poppins (1964)
• The Misadventures of Merlin Jones (1964)
• A Tiger Walks (1964)
• The Three Lives of Thomasina (1964)
• The Moon-Spinners (1964)
• Emil and the Detectives (1964)
• Those Calloways (1965)
• The Monkey's Uncle (1965)
• Follow Me, Boys! (1966)
• The Ugly Dachshund (1966)
• Lt. Robin Crusoe USN (1966)
• The Fighting Prince of Donegal (1966)
• The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin (1967)
• The Gnome-Mobile (1967)
• The Happiest Millionaire (1967)
• Monkeys, Go Home! (1967)
• Blackbeard's Ghost (1968)
• The Horse in the Gray Flannel Suit (1968)
• The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band (1968)
• The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes (1970)
• The Boatniks (1970)
• Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971)
• Napoleon and Samantha (1972)
• Now You See Him, Now You Don't (1972)
• Superdad (1973)
• One of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing (1975)
• Gus (1976)
• Pete's Dragon (1977)
• Candleshoe (1978)
• Hot Lead and Cold Feet (1978)
• The Black Hole (1979)
• The North Avenue Irregulars (1979)
• Midnight Madness (1980) (released without any mention of Disney's involvement)
• Dragonslayer (1981) (co-production with Paramount Pictures)
• The Devil and Max Devlin (1981)
• Condorman (1981)
• Night Crossing (1981)
• Tron (1982)
• Tex (1982)
• Trenchcoat (1983) (released without mention of Disney's involvement)
• Never Cry Wolf (film) (1983)
• Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)
• Tiger Town (1984, produced for The Disney Channel)
• One Magic Christmas (1985)
• Return to Oz (1985)
• Flight of the Navigator (1986)
• The Rocketeer (1991)
• Newsies (1992)
• A Far Off Place (1993)
• James and the Giant Peach (1996)
• The Straight Story (1999)
• Doug's 1st Movie (1999)
• Dinosaur (2000)
• The Kid (2000)
• Remember the Titans (2000) (co-production with Jerry Bruckheimer Films (logo not actually shown))
• Monsters, Inc. (2001) (co-production with Pixar)
• Snow Dogs (2002)
• The Rookie (2002)
• The Country Bears (2002)
• Tuck Everlasting (2002)
• Ghosts of the Abyss (2003)
• Holes (2003)
• The Lizzie McGuire Movie (2003)
• Finding Nemo (2003) (co-production with Pixar)
• The Haunted Mansion (2003)
• Teacher's Pet (2004)
• Miracle (2004)
• Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004)
• Home on the Range (2004)
• Sacred Planet (2004)
• Around the World in 80 Days (2004)
• The Incredibles (2004) (co-production with Pixar)
• National Treasure (2004) (co-production with Jerry Bruckheimer Films)
• Aliens of the Deep (2005)
• The Pacifier (2005)
• Ice Princess (2005)
• Sky High (2005)
• The Greatest Game Ever Played (2005)
• Valiant (2005)
• Chicken Little (2005)
• The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005) (co-production with Walden Media)
• Glory Road (2006) (co-production with Jerry Bruckheimer Films)
• Roving Mars (2006)
• High School Musical (2006) (TV)
• Eight Below (2006)
• The Wild (2006)
• Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers (2004)
• Spymate (2006)

On a side note, Disney is in the works with "Toy Story 3". That'll be worth seeing.

On an unfortuneate side note, Disney is also working on "Pirates of the Carribean II" (this summer) and a "PotC III" after that. I hate to say it, but I see this as an obvious ploy for more money. Toy Story 2 was a great movie, and Toy Story was great enough to earn a sequel. Pirates of the Carribean, while a great movie, does NOT need a sequel! A sequel there seems WAY to cliche and will hurt the original movie. (Like Aladdin with that STUPID 3rd movie, when it ALREADY had a not-too-great sequel)

On an even-less-fortunate-but-let's-hope-they-do-this-one-right side note, Disney is also working on "The Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian" for late 07.

Today’s Random Thought

I doubt, therefore I might be.

“Tainted muffins sicken 18 in Texas”

DALLAS, May 17 (UPI) — At least 18 employees of a Dallas high school reportedly became ill after consuming muffins suspected of being laced with a drug.

The sickened employees at Lake Highlands High School included three teachers. They were treated at a local hospital after complaining of dizziness, nausea and increased heart rate, The Dallas Morning News reported. No students were affected.

Authorities suspect the muffins in the teachers’ lounge were laced with a street or over-the-counter drug.

A school official said two boxes of muffins were delivered by a man who apparently was recorded on a security video. The man said the sweets were part of an Eagle Scout project, the report said.

The FBI is assisting Dallas authorities investigating the incident.

The Fort Worth Star-Telegram quoted a hospital official as saying the facility has conducted toxicology tests on the muffins and was awaiting the results.

“We can’t discuss what might have affected those people because of privacy laws, but it wasn’t food poisoning,” the official said.

Someone poisoned some muffins. With over-the-counter drugs. For teachers. In Texas.

First off, “muffins”? What the crap? Why “muffins”? You never heard of the magic talking muffin tree? Don’t mess with muffins.

Over the counter drugs? Is it really poisoning if it isn’t really a “poison”. I mean, if you slip a guy a laxative to mess with him because you don’t like him, is that really poisoning? I’m betting it was bad yeast, nothing more. Don’t mess with over-the-counter drugs.

Teachers then. Why teachers? I mean, do whatever you want, but they don’t do background checks on teachers, so you don’t know WHO you are really poisoning. That teacher may have had contacts. Don’t mess with teachers.

And Texas? Do I need to say it? Really?

Don’t mess with Texas.

(now THOSE are some Words of Wisdom… Justin out…..)

Excerpts from the Notebooks of Lazurus Long

Wise Words:

Does history record any case in which the majority was right?

Never frighten a little man. He’ll kill you.

In handling a stinging insect, move very slowly.

Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Never try to outstubborn a cat.

“All’s fair in love and war”–what a contemptible lie!

Natural laws have no pity.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

“I came, I saw, she conquered.” (The original Latin seems to have been garbled)

Don’t try to have the last word. You might get it.

Eric and the Gazebo

This a beatiful story entitled “Eric and the Gazebo”. Now, even if you’ve never played the game Eric is a part of, it is still funny to see what can happen to someone who doesn’t know what a word is. (such as asking someone if they can loan you a manage a trios, or asking if they would masticate for an elderly person)

The Tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo by Richard Aronson (aronson@sierratel.com) …

In the early seventies, Ed Whitchurch ran “his game,” and one of the participants was Eric Sorenson. Eric plays something like a computer. When he games he methodically considers each possibility before choosing his preferred option. If given time, he will invariably pick the optimal solution. It has been known to take weeks. He is otherwise, in all respects, a superior gamer.

Eric was playing a Neutral Paladin in Ed’s game. He was on some lord’s lands when the following exchange occurred:

ED: You see a well groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.

ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?

ED: (Pause) It’s white, Eric.

ERIC: How far away is it?

ED: About 50 yards.

ERIC: How big is it?

ED: (Pause) It’s about 30 ft across, 15 ft high, with a pointed top.

ERIC: I use my sword to detect good on it.

ED: It’s not good, Eric. It’s a gazebo.

ERIC: (Pause) I call out to it. ED: It won’t answer. It’s a gazebo.

ERIC: (Pause) I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?

ED: No, Eric, it’s a gazebo!

ERIC: I shoot it with my bow (roll to hit). What happened?

 ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.

ERIC: (Pause) Wasn’t it wounded?

ED: OF COURSE NOT, ERIC! IT’S A GAZEBO!

ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a +3 arrow!

ED: It’s a gazebo, Eric, a GAZEBO! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I don’t know why anybody would even try. It’s a @#$%!! gazebo!

ERIC: (Long pause. He has no axe or fire spells.) I run away.

ED: (Thoroughly frustrated) It’s too late. You’ve awakened the gazebo. It catches you and eats you.

ERIC: (Reaching for his dice) Maybe I’ll roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my Paladin.

At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored a modicum of order by explaining to Eric what a gazebo is.

Thus ends the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo. It could have been worse; at least the gazebo wasn’t on a grassy gnoll.

Note: I do run a D&D campaign for my friends, and FULLY intend to unleash a Gazebo on them. (one that has been animated, or is a giant Gazebo full of gears, or something, so that they actually have to fight one, cause that’ll be funny, especially considering that they have heard this story before)